Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
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