I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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