I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
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