That's when you crack a 10am beer
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize