So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
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