Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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