some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
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Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
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For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
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