The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize