Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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