My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize