So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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