I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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