Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
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My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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