you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
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I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
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