And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
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