My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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