Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize