In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
i think my tv is drunk
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
tell me about the fingering
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