Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
did i walk over a car last night?
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
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