this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
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He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
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do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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