I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
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