Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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