The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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