Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
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Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
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He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
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