I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Randomize