I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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