I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
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