Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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