DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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