I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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