my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
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