your parents love me but you hate me
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
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