my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize