She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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