i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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