grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize