He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize