recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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