she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Randomize