I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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