i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
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