i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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