you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
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