I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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