I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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