I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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