ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I could have mohawked her pubes.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize