This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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