I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
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