between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
40s are totally the cure
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
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